A Three Month Reflection: Looking Back to Move Ahead

Bucket List Item #3: Reflect on three months of traveling-CHECK

Luang Prabang, Laos 

I am writing this post while sitting here in India once again, surrounded by the chaotic yet inspiring energy of a place that never fails to captivate my heart, while I ponder what exactly it is that I have been up to for the past eight months of my travel life. Without being able to put my finger on it exactly, I remember all the freely written but not so easily tick-able goals I made for myself that lay one after the other on my bucket list. In Laos, I celebrated three months of adventures on the road. I made a random list of some of my reflections at the time (knowledge, goals &  lessons for example). It’s incredibly rewarding to look back and compare where I was then and where I am now.  A lot has changed. The one thing that continues to remain the same, irrespective of where I am or what I am doing, is the ups and downs of this erratic and exciting life on the road that presents a different color every day.  Reflecting is a reminder that the nature of life will always be spontaneously positive or spontaneously negative. The difference, however, is in how you respond to it. You can either allow yourself to get stuck in the mud or to grow from each unresolved mystery.  It motivates me to keep going…and yes I will!  So, here is what I started to discover many months ago, and what I will never cease to explore.

1. Learn to listen. Listen to everything and everyone. The universe, intuition, heart, body, nature, emotions and other people. Everything. If you truly listen, not only to hear, but to stay present, then you can better understand and acknowledge the lesson in everything. It’s all connected in some way or another. I have come to know that although I may never find out the reason for something, I don’t want to miss out on a potential answer.

2. Accept what you hear. I’m not always comfortable with what my intuition or someone else is telling me, but accepting it or letting it go is much easier than trying to change things that are out of my control. I’ve wasted too much time fighting with the truth. When you finally accept the reality then you can use it to your advantage. If you do not wish to accept what you hear then let it go. Let it go smoothly and quietly. However, it can be difficult to let something go without accepting it and it can be difficult to accept it without listening.

3. Things change. They just do. I love change in many aspects of life but I have realized that it also scares me at times. For example, I’ve had a hard time accepting that there were things I wanted in the past that I no longer want. I think change is a positive sign of growth but it also scares me when the goals I have been working towards don’t seem to excite me to the same level anymore. Then comes the questions of ‘What do I do now?’ and ‘What do I want now?’. Who knows!? Sometimes it can be a struggle not to feel resistant to change when it leaves you feeling lost and confused but the key is in surrendering to its mystic flow.

4. Let yourself love and be loved. It’s an incredible feeling when you can break down the barrier between yourself and others. I believe that over everything else, love is what we all truly need and are capable of giving and receiving. Sharing love has ultimately taught me to accept the love from others. Knowing that I’m capable of loving so deeply makes me feel worthy of receiving the same in return. And, the hardest love of all is self-love. If we don’t cultivate love for ourselves, how can we share love in all its forms? Because the essence of love and compassion radiates directly from inside ourselves. We only accept the love that we think we deserve.

5. Vulnerability is growth. A frequent thought that crosses my mind is ‘How will I find my place in this world if I don’t grow and change in my life?’ The answer is: I don’t know. I have come to notice that nobody, in fact, knows anything. As you get older the truth unravels itself, revealing that nobody really knows what they are doing. Instead, we all take life day by day, working out the next step as we go. Nevertheless, the ultimate truth that I find solace in is that the more vulnerable you are the more growth there can be. Take risks, face fears, be embarrassed, open-up to others, be true to yourself and fail to get back up again. This is how you create growth and move forward.

6. Don’t set too many expectations. It’s a rarity that anything goes to plan smoothly. Another thing that I have realized is that setting too many expectations, for myself and especially for other people, is asking for point-blank disappointment. If your mind is too set on expectations then you put yourself in line for missing the beauty of the moment, because what isn’t right with it is the only thing you see, and that carries away the real truth. An example is when I always think about long bus rides. It is normally quite cheap and I don’t have any expectations other than getting to my destination alive. The roads are generally a little less than terrible, the seats are often broken and don’t recline, leaving you cramped and unable to sleep, and to say that the buses are dirty would be an understatement. But my last bus journey was particularly quiet and the views were beautiful.

On the other hand, there was another time that I paid a little extra money to ride the train expecting to get a good night sleep. Well, the ride was smooth, I had a full size bed and it was clean but the crying baby kept me awake the entire time. You can never win by embedding an expectation into your mind. It was better to forget what I would have liked and instead enjoy the experience for what it was, (riding with locals and daydreaming out the window), rather than being irritated by something out of my control.

7. There is so much kindness in this world. I have been invited to parties when no one knows anything about me. I have been welcomed into homes with smiles and excitement when we can’t speak a common language. Without hesitation, I have been fed by kind locals who can hardly feed themselves. I have been helped when I was lost and confused many times. People are curious and accepting of who I am and where I come from (although sadly, most people are not too thrilled when I tell them I am American). I have also met so many other amazing travelers who have allowed me to connect with them and have taught me so much about myself and life. Sometimes, the world and people in it are not how it may seem so give it a chance before you make a decision to form an opinion.

8. I’ve almost mastered the art of squatting. I can even keep myself dry wearing a long skirt, with a backpack hung on my front and back. Now I am working on the next skill of finding a way to reach for the toilet paper that’s always fallen to the very bottom of my purse.

9. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m always a hot, sweaty mess. The thought of not sweating at one point in the day or actually having dry clothes has stopped crossing my mind. The humid, one-hundred degree weather always wins and so its a waste of energy to keep fighting it. I’ve learned to stop focusing on what’s uncomfortable because at the end of the day, I’m going to survive and things could always be worse.

10. I can cross the street like a badass. The best advice that was ever given to me when crossing crazy intersections that are as far from organized as they can get, is to just keep going; do not stop and do not look back. Once you do that, the entire “flow” is messed up and that’s when the real problem starts. Of course it’s still necessary to look left and right several times before crossing, but trust me, if you actually waited until there was an obvious opening then you would be in the same spot until the sun goes down.

So what does all of this mean?
I believe there is a lesson in everything. Although learning something from crossing the street seems silly, it has taught me so many valuable life lessons like facing fears (which is usually the underlying cause for many things), confidence, trust, having no regrets and just going for it!  I constantly remind myself of the many streets I’ve (successfully) crossed when I’m tackling a situation that seems impossible.

Life is what you make it. We all have a choice to approach life’s lessons positivity or negatively. We all have the capability to be kind, loving and compassionate towards ourselves and one another. Patience, acceptance and gratitude are special gifts that life has given us to fill our heart and soul with true happiness–so we can then share it with EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that presents itself to us. Imagine how much more incredible life would be if we were ALL in it together?